I am so insanely happy compared to how I was in Seattle. In Seattle, I dreaded any downtime I had on the weekends and during school breaks because I got bored and had nothing to do. I was lonely and wandered around the city by myself a lot. It is totally my own fault that I didn’t make friends in Seattle. I was busy and the people I saw everyday in my graduate program just weren’t very inviting. Most of them were married… I didn’t exactly fit in. I simply did not put the effort in. My own fault.
In Chicago things are clicking. I love the weekends. I smile on the weekends. I feel strong, independent, outgoing, able to be myself in this city that understands my type A personality. A couple of days ago I was talking to my mom (aka crying to my mom) and said that I am so happy with Chicago that maybe I don’t deserve a job. The worse part is that I am starting to believe I don’t deserve to be happy. That I don’t deserve to be able to live in this city that I’ve fallen in love with. I don’t deserve to work in the field of public health. I am so insanely passionate about the field of public health. I read policy briefs and the journal articles for fun. I get giddy with new reports and interesting opinion pieces. I want to help. I love prevention programs and policies. Like really, love them. But I am starting to think I don’t deserve to have a rewarding career. The worse part about this is that, for me, time has stood still for the entire year. I am 26. I have yet to be in a relationship because I don’t know where I am going to physically be. I have never had a paid-day off or insurance from a job. My friends (or so I am told on Facebook) are doing things like getting married, having babies, getting promotions, buying houses. For me, none of these ‘adult’ things can begin to happen without some sort of job-type thing. I am still 18.
So this is where I am. I am going to keep applying for jobs. But I am also going to create a new resume without my Masters Degrees (I’ll keep my BA) and apply for some jobs in retail, service, and catering. I don’t have any experience with coffee shops so I don’t think I can get a job at one of those unless I have a connection. Luckily, I worked a lot while I was in graduate school so my resume won’t have too many time gaps between jobs without my degrees. Hopefully I can make enough money to pay for my rent, gym and health insurance (I have food stamps! and I am so thankful) and figure out how to defer my loans. However, loan deferment is a rather tricky thing for the amount of debt I have. If I can get a job at a grocery store (I have experience at a liquor store) or catering (I was a caterer during undergrad) I think I can stay in Chicago for a couple more months.
Mentally, I am a disaster. I cry several times a day. My mom would love for me to find someone else to cry to because I guess (according to her, my sister, and my dad) she is also taking this really hard when I call her crying at all times of the day. It is really hard that she, as my mother, can’t help. I apply for jobs sobbing or so angry that I can’t I have to walk away from my computer to calm down. BUT when I am not having a breakdown, I am insanely happy compared to the last couple years. So really, it is like an hour or two out of 24 hours a day where I am a mess. I can usually snap out of the sadness and frustration after a good cry and call to my mom. That drives her crazy though. She has told me I can’t keep calling her, so I’m trying to not call her as much.
So… Chicago people… I need connections. Please. I have a soft spot for Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods. I could host or be a table runner at a restaurant. Target would be okay. Clothing stores could work. I could babysit or nanny.
Sorry for the downer. I am just truly exhausted, resentful of my education (I HATE that I feel this way because I LOVE education… in theory… in reality it isn’t working for me), and want to feel like an adult.
But I love Chicago. And for that I am so happy.
Xoxo,
Emily
Job update
September 19, 2012 by Emily
Non-running blog today. Foot problem post soonish. Feeling better though! Yah!
This post is about my job search (lack) of progress.
Backstory.
I started looking for jobs January 1st, 2012 in anticipation of finishing my Master of Public Health and Master of Public Administration at the University of Washington. I was done with my classes in March but during the months of January and February I applied for 5-7 jobs a week. Starting in March I applied for jobs pretty much full-time until June. That means for 40+ hours a week I was applying for jobs, doing informational interviews, networking… you name it. I applied for about 10 jobs a week for the months of March, April and May. I was willing to relocate anywhere. I was living in Seattle but, seriously, would have moved just about anyway. I had a couple of phone interviews during those six months. That’s all.
In June, I excepted an unpaid internship to gain experience. During graduate school I did work at least 30 hours a week so I did have experience but I was so sick of sitting on my butt (aka applying for jobs) not adding to my resume. So I took an internship that sounded interesting, packed up, and moved to Chicago. The plan was to stay in Chicago and work on finding a job. I changed my job strategy to networking and applying for jobs in Chicago since moving here in June. I’ve applied for about 54 jobs in the last three months. Trust me, I’m not picky.
Where am I now? No where. My internship is ending. On top of my full-time internship, I’m doing some very minimally paid consulting work 20 hours a week that doesn’t even cover my rent (interesting and related to my ‘career’) but that is 20 hours a week and the project is ending. According to my spreadsheet of jobs, I’ve applied to 157 jobs in nine months. I’ve talked to several career specialists. We’ve worked on interviewing (according to them that isn’t a problem except that I look too young), we’ve worked on my resume (I have asked so many people for feed back from career services and HR that it is crazy). Did I mention I am 100,000 + dollars in debt and my loans are in repayment starting today? Oh and I need to find new health insurance.
So here it is. Unless I find a way to make money, I will be packing up and moving in with my parents in Minneapolis. Probably this will happen sometime at the end of October. I love my parents (can’t live with them) and I love Minneapolis. They are understanding and not going to make me pay rent, for internet, or for the use of a car. Well I won’t really have a car so they won’t make me pay to borrow the car from my other family members.
Here’s the thing. I love Chicago. I am IN LOVE with Chicago. I love the dirt of the city, I love the sound of the L from my window, I love the Lakeshore, I love the buildings. The site of the city from the Brown Line still takes my breath away after three months. I feel so at home in Chicago after three months, more at home than I did in LaCrosse Wisconsin after 4 years and Seattle after three years. I realized how unhappy I was in Seattle. I have the beginnings of friends here. Chicago culture makes sense to me. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE. Like ever. I want to be here.
I am so insanely happy compared to how I was in Seattle. In Seattle, I dreaded any downtime I had on the weekends and during school breaks because I got bored and had nothing to do. I was lonely and wandered around the city by myself a lot. It is totally my own fault that I didn’t make friends in Seattle. I was busy and the people I saw everyday in my graduate program just weren’t very inviting. Most of them were married… I didn’t exactly fit in. I simply did not put the effort in. My own fault.
In Chicago things are clicking. I love the weekends. I smile on the weekends. I feel strong, independent, outgoing, able to be myself in this city that understands my type A personality. A couple of days ago I was talking to my mom (aka crying to my mom) and said that I am so happy with Chicago that maybe I don’t deserve a job. The worse part is that I am starting to believe I don’t deserve to be happy. That I don’t deserve to be able to live in this city that I’ve fallen in love with. I don’t deserve to work in the field of public health. I am so insanely passionate about the field of public health. I read policy briefs and the journal articles for fun. I get giddy with new reports and interesting opinion pieces. I want to help. I love prevention programs and policies. Like really, love them. But I am starting to think I don’t deserve to have a rewarding career. The worse part about this is that, for me, time has stood still for the entire year. I am 26. I have yet to be in a relationship because I don’t know where I am going to physically be. I have never had a paid-day off or insurance from a job. My friends (or so I am told on Facebook) are doing things like getting married, having babies, getting promotions, buying houses. For me, none of these ‘adult’ things can begin to happen without some sort of job-type thing. I am still 18.
So this is where I am. I am going to keep applying for jobs. But I am also going to create a new resume without my Masters Degrees (I’ll keep my BA) and apply for some jobs in retail, service, and catering. I don’t have any experience with coffee shops so I don’t think I can get a job at one of those unless I have a connection. Luckily, I worked a lot while I was in graduate school so my resume won’t have too many time gaps between jobs without my degrees. Hopefully I can make enough money to pay for my rent, gym and health insurance (I have food stamps! and I am so thankful) and figure out how to defer my loans. However, loan deferment is a rather tricky thing for the amount of debt I have. If I can get a job at a grocery store (I have experience at a liquor store) or catering (I was a caterer during undergrad) I think I can stay in Chicago for a couple more months.
Mentally, I am a disaster. I cry several times a day. My mom would love for me to find someone else to cry to because I guess (according to her, my sister, and my dad) she is also taking this really hard when I call her crying at all times of the day. It is really hard that she, as my mother, can’t help. I apply for jobs sobbing or so angry that I can’t I have to walk away from my computer to calm down. BUT when I am not having a breakdown, I am insanely happy compared to the last couple years. So really, it is like an hour or two out of 24 hours a day where I am a mess. I can usually snap out of the sadness and frustration after a good cry and call to my mom. That drives her crazy though. She has told me I can’t keep calling her, so I’m trying to not call her as much.
So… Chicago people… I need connections. Please. I have a soft spot for Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods. I could host or be a table runner at a restaurant. Target would be okay. Clothing stores could work. I could babysit or nanny.
Sorry for the downer. I am just truly exhausted, resentful of my education (I HATE that I feel this way because I LOVE education… in theory… in reality it isn’t working for me), and want to feel like an adult.
But I love Chicago. And for that I am so happy.
Xoxo,
Emily
I am so insanely happy compared to how I was in Seattle. In Seattle, I dreaded any downtime I had on the weekends and during school breaks because I got bored and had nothing to do. I was lonely and wandered around the city by myself a lot. It is totally my own fault that I didn’t make friends in Seattle. I was busy and the people I saw everyday in my graduate program just weren’t very inviting. Most of them were married… I didn’t exactly fit in. I simply did not put the effort in. My own fault.
In Chicago things are clicking. I love the weekends. I smile on the weekends. I feel strong, independent, outgoing, able to be myself in this city that understands my type A personality. A couple of days ago I was talking to my mom (aka crying to my mom) and said that I am so happy with Chicago that maybe I don’t deserve a job. The worse part is that I am starting to believe I don’t deserve to be happy. That I don’t deserve to be able to live in this city that I’ve fallen in love with. I don’t deserve to work in the field of public health. I am so insanely passionate about the field of public health. I read policy briefs and the journal articles for fun. I get giddy with new reports and interesting opinion pieces. I want to help. I love prevention programs and policies. Like really, love them. But I am starting to think I don’t deserve to have a rewarding career. The worse part about this is that, for me, time has stood still for the entire year. I am 26. I have yet to be in a relationship because I don’t know where I am going to physically be. I have never had a paid-day off or insurance from a job. My friends (or so I am told on Facebook) are doing things like getting married, having babies, getting promotions, buying houses. For me, none of these ‘adult’ things can begin to happen without some sort of job-type thing. I am still 18.
So this is where I am. I am going to keep applying for jobs. But I am also going to create a new resume without my Masters Degrees (I’ll keep my BA) and apply for some jobs in retail, service, and catering. I don’t have any experience with coffee shops so I don’t think I can get a job at one of those unless I have a connection. Luckily, I worked a lot while I was in graduate school so my resume won’t have too many time gaps between jobs without my degrees. Hopefully I can make enough money to pay for my rent, gym and health insurance (I have food stamps! and I am so thankful) and figure out how to defer my loans. However, loan deferment is a rather tricky thing for the amount of debt I have. If I can get a job at a grocery store (I have experience at a liquor store) or catering (I was a caterer during undergrad) I think I can stay in Chicago for a couple more months.
Mentally, I am a disaster. I cry several times a day. My mom would love for me to find someone else to cry to because I guess (according to her, my sister, and my dad) she is also taking this really hard when I call her crying at all times of the day. It is really hard that she, as my mother, can’t help. I apply for jobs sobbing or so angry that I can’t I have to walk away from my computer to calm down. BUT when I am not having a breakdown, I am insanely happy compared to the last couple years. So really, it is like an hour or two out of 24 hours a day where I am a mess. I can usually snap out of the sadness and frustration after a good cry and call to my mom. That drives her crazy though. She has told me I can’t keep calling her, so I’m trying to not call her as much.
So… Chicago people… I need connections. Please. I have a soft spot for Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods. I could host or be a table runner at a restaurant. Target would be okay. Clothing stores could work. I could babysit or nanny.
Sorry for the downer. I am just truly exhausted, resentful of my education (I HATE that I feel this way because I LOVE education… in theory… in reality it isn’t working for me), and want to feel like an adult.
But I love Chicago. And for that I am so happy.
Xoxo,
Emily
I am so sorry that finding a PH job has taken you this long. I know that people in my office are currently writing a lot of grants (grant writing season) so hopefully more money and more research projects will be funded soon (i.e. more jobs).
In the meantime, I ALWAYS see signs at restaurants looking for hostesses. I doubt the job will provide health insurance but it will be income and can be a gateway to being a servor or bartender where you’d make more money. I don’t have any contacts per say but I will keep my eye out for places and will let you know!
I love that you call it grant writing season too!! I love funding, when it happens! Thanks
Sorry to hear about your situation. Even though your facebook friends seem to have their lives all put together, I am certain they also have their share of life problems. Some of them may even envy your life in the big city! Have you tried temp agencies? If I hear of anything, I will let you know…
Thanks Pete. Facebook is such a problem with the grass-is-always-greener thing. I am going to try temp agencies. I’ve had luck with them in the past.
I always feel so helpless when friends need jobs. I wish I could hire everyone! So, the best I can do is give you some more links. Which I know is just what you want. More applications to fill out. But, still.
https://jobs-depaul.icims.com/jobs/17351/grants-manager/job
http://www.higheredjobs.com/search/details.cfm?JobCode=175664646&Title=Administrative%20Assistant
http://www.higheredjobs.com/search/details.cfm?JobCode=175654885&Title=Institutional%20Review%20Board%20%28IRB%29%20Assistant
Thanks Erin! I’ve applied to them all. Keep ‘em coming!
oh girl. First, you 110% DESERVE to be happy. And you’ve been working your ass off trying to get a job – you’re literally doing everything you can. That matters. I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and it all works out in the end. sometimes it takes longer than we want, but it really does work out. Keep your chin up!
Thanks!!
Hey girl!
Public Health is a crazy field…I got my B.S. in PH from UW (we made that connection a while ago!)
I LOVED the education steps towards getting the PH degree (my classes, and internships!) I couldn’t figure out what to do with it…
I hope things turn up for you! I have never been to Chicago, but can’t wait to get to your lovely city and run through it!
keep your chin up. things happen for a reason, and there is never a dead-end opportunity! you will find something!
xoxo!
Thanks Lizzy! So excited you will be experiencing Chicago… while running!!!! I am so excited!
Hey,
I’m not one to normally comment on blog posts, but I couldn’t help myself once I read this! I graduated with an MPH from Emory in 2010, which is also were I work right now. Emory has a really good job database on their website, called the Public Health Employment Connection–I’m going to assume you’ve heard of it or used it? If not, please check it out. Lots of postings all over the US and other countries, some more relevant than others–but still useful. I actually got my first job out of grad school by applying to a posting on that website, without any connections. So it seems crazy, but it can happen! Feel free to email me or respond if you want the direct link, or need any other help…..if you are up to moving to Atlanta, there are a lot, a lot of PH jobs down here.
Best of luck!
Hi! Thanks for the comment! I’m going to check out the Public Health Employment Connection! Thanks for the tip!!!
girlfriend this post broke my heart. would you like to come over for a wine and girl talk night? you can cry to me.
If you want, I’de be happy to look over your cover letter and/or resume-I’ve gotten pretty good at that since I moved out here and spent a lot of time looking and applying for jobs (also Max designed me a unique resume that would stand out in a stack-if you want and I can ask him to do the same for you, just email me.)
try to keep your head up. applying for jobs seriously SUCKS. I second linds-i always see signs for help wanted at restaurants. also try ULTA- i worked there for 2 years and actually really enjoyed it, they are normally always hiring.
love you bunches.
Thanks Kelsey. Ulta does sound interesting! Do you think I would have to actually wash my hair? And use makeup?
Hey! I found your blog on the Chicago Running Bloggers page…
I understand the job hunt to an extent. At one point, I applied to about 3 jobs per day for a few months. Wow is that an exhausting job in itself!
I wish there was something I could do to help… have you tried NMFF or NMH? I work with NMFF and I’m sure there is a job in that mix of health care organizations that would be a good fit for you. Never hurts to check them out : )
Here’s to hoping you find something soon, because Chicago really is an amazing city!
I want to hear more about NMFF and what you do there. I am going to DM you on twitter. Thanks for the comment!
[...] Comments « Job update [...]
I am so so SO sorry for all of this. But you DO deserve to be happy and have a rewarding career! I believe more than ever that networking and connections are 90% of what matter, although maybe that’s only true in my field or because of the current economy, but I think you’re on the right track focusing on that. It WILL happen for you!!
Thanks!
Oh! Don’t beat yourself up over not being able to make friends in Seattle. We’re known for being cold. I haven’t made a new friend in four years.
Good luck on the job hunt. I’m starting my FOURTH year as a substitute teacher because things are so messed up. Networking is a good plan. It’ll happen!